My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
