I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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