i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
