Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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