1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize