I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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