She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
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u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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