I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
