She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
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the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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