i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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