Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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