Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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