the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
if only i could text you this smell
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
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Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize