Non-Jews are for practice
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
