I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize