Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
