Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
