i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
