just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
