i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
