if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
