I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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