Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
