No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
