For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
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His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
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I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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