We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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