you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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