I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize