i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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