My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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