at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
