I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Even my vagina gasped.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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