the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
