if i can run in heels then i can drive
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
