Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
