I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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