Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?

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(908): View more from New Jersey

do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream

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(352): View more from Florida

I wasn't that drunk.

(727): View more from Florida

You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.

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