we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
