Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
