I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
