i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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