used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You have to summon your inner elephant
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
