this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
