i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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