you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
