We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
