what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
