I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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