let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
