so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
