He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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