That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
