Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
