Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
