I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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