He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
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