i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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