Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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