just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
