I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
