this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
