My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
