apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
someone owes me an orgasm
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
