so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
