I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize