How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Shame - the story of my life.
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