Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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