I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
