if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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